bush approval rating Brain Farts Brain Fart brain farts brain fart brain-fart brain-farts brainfart brainfarts LEO Louisville Eccentric Observer parody lampoon satire Louisville Kentucky Kevin Gibson kgramone@aol.com  kgramone humor cat's ass fart anna kournikova zeitgeist  bush approval rating

 

Brain Farts was a weekly humor column that ran in the Louisville Eccentric Observer from mid-2000 until the summer of 2002. It was, well, eccentric. And occasionally satirical. And sardonic. Some liked it, some hated it; some just didn't get it, and that's OK. There were times when I didn't get it either. I've compiled here some of the archives from Brain Farts for the enjoyment of friends, family and anyone else who happens by. I also have written some new Brain Farts, and added some links and other trivialities that you shouldn't be too concerned with.

Unless you're as bored as I am.

 

 

Nearly a Brain Fart

By Kevin Gibson
February 24, 2007

Where the hell has Brain Farts been, anyway? That’s the question on the lips of intelligent people the world over – well, OK, it’s right after that “Why is that idiot Britney Spears considered newsworthy?” question, but it’s up there.

The truth is, I’ve been really freaking busy with work and various projects, and I’ve also been pouring a lot of my writing time into satirical news stories for TheSpoof.com. It’s almost like Brain Farts except in the form of satirical news stories.

So to keep you happy, I’ve compiled links to the stories for you to read at your leisure, along with headlines and one-paragraph snippets. Please take a look at as many as you can (and rate them!) – they are typically quick reads and are totally worth it.

But that’s just my opinion.

(And I promise more Brain Farts are in the works ...)

God Announces Recall of Bald, Drunk Britney Spears
In a prepared statement, God has announced a recall of Britney Spears, in light of her recent escapades - from rehab, to drunken partying to publicly shaving her head. Read the Whole Damn Story

Vial of Angelina Jolie Saliva Sells on eBay for $43,450
A vial of Angelina Jolie's saliva sold on eBay for $43,450 this week, with hundreds of bids pouring in for the rare and highly sought-after collectible. Read the Whole Damn Story

Rumor: Paul McCartney, Heather Mills Reach $876 Kajillion Bajillion Divorce Settlement
LONDON - Sources close to someone who once owned a copy of the Beatles' Rubber Soul album are reporting today that ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney has reached a divorce settlement with his estranged ex-wife, one-legged supermodel Heather Mills, worth a sum of $876 kajillion bajillion. Read the Whole Damn Story

Kentucky Derby Winner Barbaro 'Will Taste Great in Alpo'
2006 Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro was euthanized this week due to ongoing complications stemming from the breakdown he suffered during the Preakness Stakes last May. But a marketing representative from Purina noted that Barbaro "will sure taste great in Alpo." Read the Whole Damn Story

Elvis Presley Still Dead
Little remains other than some bones, hair, teeth and a large and tattered sequin jumpsuit, and reports out of Memphis today confirmed the worst: Elvis Presley is still dead. Read the Whole Damn Story

Another Sexual Predator Lawsuit Filed Against MySpace by Angry Parents
A negligence lawsuit against the website MySpace, originally filed in response to a young girl who lied about her age being groomed online, was thrown out of a federal court in Texas this week. Meanwhile, another such lawsuit has been filed – by parents angry that their son was turned INTO a sexual predator due to the ease of meeting underage girls on MySpace.com. Read the Whole Damn Story

The Police Reunite in Adult Diapers to Play Grammys, Tour
The Police, after a 20-year hiatus, kicked off a world reunion tour this week by playing the Grammys to commemorate the 30-year anniversary of the band's formation. That they were old and creaky was lost on no one. Read the Whole Damn Story

Jesus Christ Changes Name to Jesus H. Smith
Jesus Christ announced today that he has legally changed his name to Jesus H. Smith. Read the Whole Damn Story

Reports of Hazing Hamper al-Qaeda Terrorist Training Camp Recruiting
Osama Bin Laden and other suspected al-Qaeda leaders are reportedly concerned about recent drop-offs in terrorist training camp recruits due to reports of hazing. Read the Whole Damn Story

There are more, and if you’re really that bored you can access them by visiting my TheSpoof.com Writer's Profile.

As always, e-mail me at kgramone@aol.com. But not until after you’ve read at least three of the stories. Please? I'd do the same for you ... if you were as dysfunctional as I am, I mean.