Brain Farts Brain Fart brain farts brain fart brain-fart brain-farts brainfart brainfarts LEO Louisville Eccentric Observer parody lampoon satire Louisville Kentucky Kevin Gibson kgramone@aol.com kgramone humor
Brain Farts was a weekly humor column that ran in the Louisville Eccentric Observer (LEO) from mid-2000 until the summer of 2002. It was, well, eccentric. And occasionally satirical. And sardonic. Some liked it, some hated it; some just didn't get it, and that's OK. There were times when I didn't get it either. I've compiled here some of the archives from Brain Farts for the enjoyment of friends, family and anyone else who happens by. I also have written some new Brain Farts, and added some links and other trivialities that you shouldn't be too concerned with.
Unless you're as bored as I am.
The Song Remains Insane
By Kevin Gibson
June 30, 2007
A song title can be a gloriously funny thing. Why is that? Well, it’s about context.
For instance, I was recently reading about the affliction known as coulrophobia, which is an intense fear of clowns (the therapy is going well, thank you). It was noted in some of the text that clowns are inherently intended to be funny – so when they aren’t funny, and that’s done intentionally, it skews the context. The result can be anything from hilarious to, well, just downright creepy.
It’s similar for a song, because when most people think of a song, funny is the last thing on their minds. For instance, “Hey Jude” probably would not have been nearly as big a hit had Paul McCartney titled it, “Hey Monkey-Face.” People generally think of a song as something emotional, whereas comedy is usually associated with a sitcom.
So, if you tell a friend, for instance, “I heard a really great song today. It was called …”
That friend is not going to be expecting you to say the song title, “Grandma’s Uterus.” However, that IS a real song, and it’s by a fellow named Silly Nelson Duncan. The song is so funny that even the great Dr. Demento has been playing it regularly on his show.
But what would your friend have said? “You heard a … grandma’s wha … I gotta go.”
So while your friend was throwing up, you could have had a good laugh and been singing “Grandma’s Uterus” in your head. (If you could actually manage to spit out the disturbing lyric, that is.)
So today I decided I would collect some funny song titles – actual song titles, in fact – for you to enjoy. Whenever possible, I’ve included links so that you can actually hear the songs for yourself if you’d like. (It’s worth it.)
“I Said I Love You, Now Please Untie Me and Give Me Back My Clothes” – Raymond and Scum (Brilliantly succinct and dumb. We need more songs like this.)
“Wet Fart at My Girlfriend’s House When I Was Eating Dinner With Her Parents” – The Hairy Aureolas (“My brain thought it was a dry fart / My colon must have lied.” It doesn’t get much funnier than this.)
“Church League Softball Fistfight” – Tim Wilson (“Awash in the blood on a Tuesday night.” Special thanks to my friend Greg for pointing this one out to me.)
“I Think My Sister’s Boy is a Vampire” – Tim Wilson (This guy is on a roll.)
“Every Time You Stifle a Sneeze” – Lemon Demon (Apparently, every time you stifle a sneeze, the energy has to be released somewhere, meaning that somewhere on earth a chef’s hat spontaneously blows off. Stupid, but it does make you think.)
“Trapped in an Elevator With a Mime” – Pop Machine (Actually, this is rather a frightening concept.)
“Smash the Frickin’ Fairies” – Tom Smith (I think this disturbingly graphic tune speaks for us all. And it has a video! Hilarious.)
“Derelict in My Doorway” – Automatic Pilot (Kind of silly, but I laugh out loud whenever I hear the word “derelict,” so I had to include it.)
“White Dog Poop” – Sarah Silverman (I chose this mostly because I have a crush on her, but seriously … why is there no more white dog poop? I haven’t seen it in years. And what a great song title.)
“Britney’s Bald as a Cueball (But I’d Still Do Her)” – Carl Hatmaker (Self-explanatory and hilarious. Carl is actually from Kentucky. And he’s hilarious. Also check out his song “Dumb-Ass Blues.”)
“Well Hung Jesus” – Dream Druid (The title is actually funnier than the song, but it's still wrong on so many levels. Lines like, “On your knees / Confess to me” take on hilarious connotations in this context. Yikes.)
“Disgruntled Shooter (In the Nursing Home)” – The Uncommon Houseflies (Yes, this is a shameless plug for my band; but Dr. Demento played it and this is my web site, so eat it.)
E-mail me at kgramone@aol.com. Send me some song titles, and I’ll try to write songs for them. I thought of one this morning: “Rosie O’Donnell Must Die.”